Are you one of many women that have never experienced an orgasm? Don’t worry — you’re definitely not alone in that. In fact, you can even blame biology for your lack of orgasmic experiences. How so? Well, we’re not all equally biologically programmed.
A vaginal orgasm might be easy to achieve for many women, but what if it isn’t? How do you let your partner know that you apparently cannot orgasm? Do you even tell them at all?
When it comes to questions like that, many women run to a single solution that has been proven effective since time immemorial — faking it! Faking an orgasm is something we’ve all done at least once. Maybe you’re having sex with someone new, and you don’t want to make them feel bad. Perhaps they’ve asked if you’ve orgasmed, and you’ve said yes because they clearly have no idea either way.
These white lies might be able to fool your partner, but don’t you want to stop faking it? It can get tiring. Trust us when we say that being tired from an orgasm is a much better feeling.
The Frustration of the Female Orgasm
Reaching an orgasm as a female can often be quite frustrating. It’s just not as easy as men make it seem. You can have so much sexual excitement and then end up with nothing.
Sexual arousal is relatively easy to achieve, but we’re all different. That means our partners need to get to know us pretty well for something like this to occur. It’s not all about vaginal stimulation.
To make things worse, sometimes we don’t even know ourselves well enough. In those cases, we can’t even help our partners figure out how to satisfy us. That’s where the frustration comes from.
The Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms
If you’ve ever faked an orgasm, you know how it goes. There are multiple reasons for people to fake ‘em, and some are worse than others.
One of the many reasons women do it is that they don’t want to make their partner feel bad. Sadly, the lack of your orgasm can make your partner feel bad. How so? Well, they might start thinking they’re doing something wrong. Feeling bad about themselves is something that can definitely make them underperform in the future.
Another reason is, unfortunately, trauma or psychological conditions. When it comes to trauma, that can include any kind of abuse that makes you feel unsafe about being physically intimate. Not only that, but things like stress and anxiety can be the main reason behind it all. So, if you’ve ever felt frigid for seemingly no reason, it could just be stress.
You can end up faking an orgasm when you’re not comfortable, when you’re unsure how to tell your partner, or if you are afraid of how they would react if you didn’t give them any reaction. We all love pleasing our partners. Sometimes that involves giving them what they want to hear. Regrettably, that could take a toll on your sex life.
Sex requires communication. There’s a lot of room for error without it, and that includes faking orgasms. Telling your partner exactly what you want and like can help you bypass most problems. Trust us that you’ll never feel the need to fake it again.
Achieving Female Orgasm
Again, vaginal orgasm isn’t all that there is. Have you ever heard of clitoral orgasm? They might be just the right thing for you.
There are multiple ways you can help yourself orgasm. For example, try exploring your erogenous zones and get to know your body. This will help you understand exactly what it is you enjoy, leading to a juicy orgasm.
Another thing you can do is focus on a lot of oral sex. What if that fails? You can move on to sex toys. It’s impossible to go wrong with one of those at hand. There are so many options for you to explore, so don’t miss out on them.
At the end of the day, you can do whatever makes you feel good. There’s no need to feel ashamed about it either. If it works for you, that’s all that matters. Just take control.
Talk With Your Partner
Still, there’s no need for you to do everything on your own. It’s perfectly okay to talk to your partner about it or even ask them for some help or advice.
There’s a lot of stigma about talking comfortably and casually during sex. Voicing what you like/don’t like is very important, though. Some people might think it will ruin the mood, but it’s quite the contrary. It will only ensure you reach orgasm (or multiple) every single time.
Your partner can definitely help you out. Why would they do that? Your satisfaction equals their satisfaction. Not only will they have the confirmation that they know how to please you, but it will make them feel good.
So, don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about anything you need to. You’ll soon find that reaching orgasms is much easier than you’ve ever thought.
Achieving orgasms shouldn’t be on your mind every time you have sex. Sure, that can be the end goal. But what if you’re having a hard time reaching it? That will only cause you to stress, and you won’t enjoy your sexy times.
For starters, relax. Take care of sexual health because it’s just as important as any other. When you think you’re ready, you can move on to figuring out how to climax. To help yourself with that, you can explore different types of orgasms. We’re sure you’d be surprised to find out how many there actually are.
Even if you’ve never managed to cum before, there’s bound to be something that will work for you. It can just take a little time and practice figuring out.
Thankfully, you don’t have to do any of those things alone. Your partner is there to support you every step of the way — you just need to tell them that you want it. Give yourself some time to find out what works best for you.